The Last Days of Pregnancy: The Time of Zwischen

“The last days of pregnancy — sometimes stretching to agonizing weeks — are a distinct place, time, event, stage. It is a time of in between. Neither here nor there.” - Jana Studelska

When I was pregnant with my first, there was an article circulating around about the time between a mother's due date and when her baby would be born. I went 10 days over my due date, and even though I was expecting to go over my due date, that last week of pregnancy was definitely the longest week, and the most exhausting week.

Then when I became a doula in 2016, I saved and shared that article (which is quoted below) with all my clients. It was written in 2012 by midwife Jana Studelska, and originally published on the Mothering website. It took some digging, but I found it - The Last Days of Pregnancy: A Place of In-Between! So, I wanted to share some of her words that impacted me the most, and also direct you to read her article.

“The last days of pregnancy are a distinct time of in between. It’s a tricky time for mothers, and these last few days are a biologic and psychological event.

She’s curled up on the couch, waiting, a ball of baby and emotions. A scrambled pile of books on pregnancy, labor, baby names, breastfeeding … not one more word can be absorbed. The birth supplies are loaded in a laundry basket, ready for action. The freezer is filled with meals, the car seat installed, the camera charged. It’s time to hurry up and wait. Not a comfortable place to be, but wholly necessary.

The last days of pregnancy — sometimes stretching to agonizing weeks — are a distinct place, time, event, stage. It is a time of in between. Neither here nor there. Your old self and your new self, balanced on the edge of a pregnancy. One foot in your old world, one foot in a new world.

Shouldn’t there be a word for this state of being, describing the time and place where mothers linger, waiting to be called forward?

Germans have a word, zwischen, which means between. I’ve co-opted that word for my own obstetrical uses. When I sense the discomfort and tension of late pregnancy in my clients,
I suggest that they are now in The Time of Zwischen. The time of in between, where the opening begins. Giving it a name gives it dimension, an experience closer to wonder than endurance.

I tell these beautiful, round, swollen, weepy women to go with it and be okay there. Feel it, think it, don’t push it away. Write it down, sing really loudly when no one else is home, go commune with nature, or crawl into your own mama’s lap so she can rub your head until you feel better. I tell their men to let go of their worry; this is an early sign of labor. I encourage them to sequester themselves if they need space, to go out if they need distraction, to enjoy the last hours of this life-as-they-now-know-it. I try to give them permission to follow the instinctual gravitational pulls that are at work within them, just as real and necessary as labor.....

...But whether we recognize it or not, these last days of pregnancy are a distinct biologic and psychological event, essential to the birth of a mother.

We don’t scientifically understand the complex hormones at play that loosen
both her hips and her awareness...

...I believe that this is more than biological. It is spiritual. To give birth, whether at home in a birth tub with candles and family or in a surgical suite with machines and a neonatal team, a woman must go to the place between this world and the next, to that thin membrane between here and there. To the place where life comes from, to the mystery, in order to reach over to bring forth the child that is hers. The heroic tales of Odysseus are with us, each ordinary day.

This round woman is not going into battle, but she is going to the edge of her being where every resource she has will be called on to assist in this journey.

We need time and space to prepare for that journey."

Today, I am going to be sending this article to a client of mine who is patiently waiting for her baby to begin the process of labor. I, also, am in my own in between place, waiting. Just as Jana says at the end of her article, I echo the sentiment and thankfulness to have the opportunity to grow myself as a result of attending this upcoming birth. So, I am so thankful for this client, and the many others who have trusted me to support them in this time of transition and growth.